Why my team thanks me for being inconsistent

I got so tired of my feed drowning in "AI will change everything" posts that I decided to write about something truly revolutionary: managing actual humans with feelings and stuff :)

(Almost) Wrapped up quarterly check-ins with my team—2 weeks of 1:1s that reminded me of a management principle that goes against conventional wisdom: Great managers must be inconsistent.

This sounds counterintuitive. We're taught to be fair, predictable, consistent. But here's what I've learned: treating everyone the same isn't actually fair at all.

During these 1-1s, I found myself playing completely different roles:

• “The challenger” for someone who gets energized by stretch goals

• “The sounding board” for someone who just needed to be heard

• “The influencer” for someone whose great work was flying under the radar

• “The straight talker” for someone who needed an honest reality check

• “The hard truth deliverer” for someone who simply wasn't cutting it

Each person walked into that room with different needs, different motivations, different circumstances. This "inconsistency" is actually the most consistent thing we can do—consistently meeting each person where they are and giving them what they need to succeed.

So here's my controversial take:

Stop trying to be "fair" to everyone. Your team will thank you for it.